Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
