Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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