Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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