how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just want to make out with him forever
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
