OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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