im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize