To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
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It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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