i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
