Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
