your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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