I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
