when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
