i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
