Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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