She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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