better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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