big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
