Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize