I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
