Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
