You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
