i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
