Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.

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  (732): pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom. http://tfl.nu/lqbf
  Replies (5) Good night (671) Bad night (1265)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I think im going to throw up on grandma

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  (315): I think im going to throw up on grandma http://tfl.nu/l2gu
  Replies (3) Good night (856) Bad night (2602)
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  (845): View more from New York

  its like an ocean threw up right in your lap

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  (845): its like an ocean threw up right in your lap http://tfl.nu/b2xa
  Replies (6) Good night (614) Bad night (2643)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".

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  (616): he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail". http://tfl.nu/2qss
  Replies (27) Good night (5536) Bad night (1142)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college

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  (732): been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college http://tfl.nu/n77e
  Replies (11) Good night (1135) Bad night (3942)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.

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  (318): I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away. http://tfl.nu/8l4v
  Replies (21) Good night (1460) Bad night (5557)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started

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  (847): then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started http://tfl.nu/q84m
  Replies (15) Good night (4392) Bad night (1162)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?

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  (815): Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes? http://tfl.nu/tg6b
  Replies (6) Good night (2527) Bad night (870)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  Ok let me change into clothes i can run in

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  (586): you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer (1-586): Ok let me change into clothes i can run in http://tfl.nu/bmel
  Replies (10) Good night (2928) Bad night (682)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Oh that's normal

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  (401): No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus. (1-401): Oh that's normal http://tfl.nu/3sqc
  Replies (6) Good night (2068) Bad night (609)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples

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  (541): Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples http://tfl.nu/ex1b
  Replies (7) Good night (1010) Bad night (575)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend

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  (250): We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend http://tfl.nu/c0is
  Replies (4) Good night (751) Bad night (363)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow

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  (908): Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow http://tfl.nu/q4cz
  Replies (3) Good night (875) Bad night (292)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.

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  (616): Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick. http://tfl.nu/ifwc
  Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.

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  (318): Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana. http://tfl.nu/wjg5
  Replies (2) Good night (799) Bad night (288)

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