Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  So we're fucking tonight?

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  (816): You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf. (1-816): So we're fucking tonight? http://tfl.nu/2x8n
  Replies (12) Good night (4471) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.

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  (330): I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included. http://tfl.nu/hd7g
  Replies (32) Good night (6469) Bad night (798)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..

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  (321): you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night.. http://tfl.nu/r63d
  Replies (19) Good night (5844) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?

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  (760): Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get? http://tfl.nu/1t41
  Replies (12) Good night (3843) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"

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  (215): You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance" http://tfl.nu/4bfe
  Replies (1) Good night (2079) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with

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  (727): Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with http://tfl.nu/m05i
  Replies (11) Good night (645) Bad night (1808)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger

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  (+61): The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/x8sq
  Replies (4) Good night (539) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.

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  (978): I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk. http://tfl.nu/so98
  Replies (13) Good night (1721) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.

  (1-626): View more from California

  This is why you don't have nice things.

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  (626): Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread. (1-626): This is why you don't have nice things. http://tfl.nu/swqp
  Replies (3) Good night (1417) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.

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  (828): YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED. http://tfl.nu/ns1x
  Replies (11) Good night (1813) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.

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  (303): Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture. http://tfl.nu/4zls
  Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I thought you wanted to talk?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?

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  (609): I thought you wanted to talk? (908): What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk? http://tfl.nu/h1nx
  Replies (3) Good night (1223) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me

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  (816): well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me http://tfl.nu/tnly
  Replies (7) Good night (682) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon

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  (704): I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon http://tfl.nu/9347
  Replies (0) Good night (253) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing

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  (651): Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing http://tfl.nu/82bp
  Replies (0) Good night (450) Bad night (235)

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