Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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