Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy

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  (586): We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy http://tfl.nu/9kor
  Replies (3) Good night (1582) Bad night (568)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It looked like if robin williams had a vagina

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  (440): It looked like if robin williams had a vagina http://tfl.nu/jvnv
  Replies (5) Good night (621) Bad night (2791)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.

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  (813): The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp. http://tfl.nu/6snw
  Replies (22) Good night (3117) Bad night (1133)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.

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  (814): listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week. http://tfl.nu/ufqh
  Replies (20) Good night (4558) Bad night (973)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Haha did she know what fisting meant?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself

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  (734): Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that. (1-734): Haha did she know what fisting meant? (734): Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself http://tfl.nu/kykk
  Replies (21) Good night (1419) Bad night (5427)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.

  (347): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.

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  (917): Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement. (347): I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy. http://tfl.nu/2bcu
  Replies (14) Good night (1228) Bad night (4963)
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  (858): View more from California

  Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"

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  (858): Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS" http://tfl.nu/1s89
  Replies (35) Good night (4006) Bad night (1293)
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  (315): View more from New York

  my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless

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  (315): my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless http://tfl.nu/2wfy
  Replies (8) Good night (3328) Bad night (1264)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.

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  (608): She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism. http://tfl.nu/czkn
  Replies (4) Good night (1805) Bad night (641)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?

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  (403): I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing? http://tfl.nu/frkv
  Replies (8) Good night (1226) Bad night (1724)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed

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  (570): I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed http://tfl.nu/7vip
  Replies (3) Good night (567) Bad night (1020)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.

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  (229): Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night. http://tfl.nu/rfsw
  Replies (0) Good night (1318) Bad night (566)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.

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  (573): I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed. http://tfl.nu/ml69
  Replies (2) Good night (480) Bad night (812)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.

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  (330): I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why. http://tfl.nu/4y6b
  Replies (3) Good night (995) Bad night (289)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....

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  (706): I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it.... http://tfl.nu/dz68
  Replies (3) Good night (452) Bad night (200)

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