pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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