Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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