I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
