another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
