Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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