She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
