Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
