So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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