But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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