I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
