he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
