You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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