six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
where are my eyebrows?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
