Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
