you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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