Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize