told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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