Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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