hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
