Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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