...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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