you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I need water and some morals
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
