Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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