i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
