singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Mom said you looked used
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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