how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
