Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
