pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
