was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
