I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
someone owes me an orgasm
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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