I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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