Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
