I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
