dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
